home

how does one know if they are in the right place?

Lately, I’ve been constantly asking myself if this is really what I want to do?
And is it here that I really want to stay?

I have considered this place as my home. This is the only place
I felt connected with. That perhaps is the very reason why I opted to work here.

These past months however, disappointment and disillusionment became a regular companion.
Came self-doubt, irritation, anxiety, and being alone.

Will this still be me in a few years time? Disillusioned and alone wallowing in self-doubt?
That, I don’t want to be. But do I need to live to avoid that future?
Everything just feels so loose. It’s like losing control of all threads of your life that you once kept neatly braided – organized. Now it’s all tangled and no matter how I try to calmly untangle everything – I just end up beaten by temper.

Everything in disarray. I just hope I get the time to get my life organized once more
– just enough to keep me sane.

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