One thing I learned from the weekend – once in a while, one needs to buy him/herself something just to avoid feeling deprived.
In the past semester, I kept myself from purchasing clothes because I wanted to save money for a new mobile phone or a digital camera. When I want to buy something, I plan it out – usually. I love lists and I listed down everything I wanted to buy this year – what’s left of it at least. The list was helpful in keeping me focused on my needs list.
My sister SMSed me last Sunday at about 2am. I was still awake, my already palpitating heart working double time – thanks to the heavenly Black Forest, a creation of barristas from Cafe Antonio.
My sister was inviting me to join their shopping trip to Divisoria, the Mecca for bargain seekers. I said earlier that I’d pass the annual Divisoria trip because of my personal financial crisis. They originally planned to make the trip on a Saturday but went on with the trip the next day.
She texted me at about 2am and we were to leave at 5am. I re-computed my meager savings and decided to join the trip with a budget that I promised I’d be sticking with. In hindsight, I try recalling if I really made myself believe that I’d be sticking to the original budget. But of course! – NOT!
Then there was that feeling that it’s about time I bought myself something. I felt deprived, remembering those months when I hated to look in my closet every morning, trying to remember when I wore that one shirt in the previous week. I have not bought shirts in a while. So I bought many this time – at a bargain price, of course.
From 8am until 4pm, we were at Divi. We braved through the market crowd in a sleep deprived state. By 4pm, my legs hurt, mud graced my rubber shoes, and there was this pounding in my head. The tip of my fingers were losing circulation turning bluish purple or purplish blue – whatever, you get the idea. By the time we settled inside the car at 4pm , I felt the chill I usually get whenever I realize the amount I’ve spent in the past hour.
I grew up in a family where you’re trained to feel guilty whenever you spent more than a thousand in one item or in a day. I computed, and learned that I spent nearly half my monthly net pay in the past eight hours! Another set of chills and then came guilt.
I have planned the rest of the month surviving through the ever dependable siomai meals. No more pampering. I’m definitely not feeling deprived anymore.
There’s guilt in spending perhaps too much and then the fear of the succeeding days of stretching the budget from pay to pay.
I will never let myself feel deprived anymore. It’s just more expensive.
– and I hope to put this in practice this time 🙂