she

And she’s back. Just like that, she’s back in our lives – whether we like it or not.

She has decided to stay in town for the meantime. She has helped me with a recent purchase and I’m very thankful for that. She does have a knack for appearing whenever she’s needed the most. She came bearing gifts – as expected. I honestly do not know how to feel about it. Sometimes I wonder why I opt to stay with her. Is it because I was conceived by her or is it because I would be getting some financial reward (with the the accomplishment of the favors she asks from you, of course).

Seeing her number on my mobile phone’s caller ID is enough to disrupt whatever peace of mind or sense of quiet the day may have. Her presence indicates erraticism. Nothing is secure, settled, or set. There’s no sense of stability.

She can be everything she wants to be. Admiration, irritation, doubt, scorn – the emotions she’s able to draw out from people covers the entire spectrum and intensity. I’ve long given up on figuring out how I feel about this person. The only thing that I’m sure of? I do not want to spend time in her presence on a regular basis.

One does experience high moments with her especially in the financial aspect. But at this point, I’m putting more premium on that sense of security and peace of mind I’m now capable of providing myself. To accept her support is tempting. I’d rather not.

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