obsession: notebooks

Every time I enter a mall, it’s the bookstore I look for. And the supplies/ notebook section is where I’d be. I’m in constant search of pages to fill. I feel better after unwrapping a notebook at home. If I were to have a collection, it would be notebooks. I don’t buy the pricey ones. No thought of mine would merit such expensive pages. ( But I’d gladly accept them as gifts ūüôā ¬†)

The first hardbound¬†journal/diary I filled with complaints and observations was a Sterling hardbound notebook with Snoopy on the cover. That was during college days. During high school, I used the back pages of academic notebooks – usually the more boring subjects. These entries were written on loose sheets of paper. Later, I was able to maintain a softbound Snoopy (I’m not a fan. It’s just a coincidence) pad. I remember all the rants, the no-one- understands-me drama, etc in ink I wrote on that pad.

I named it Kurt. I can’t remember why I chose that name. It was me basically complaining about life with the Oldies (that would be my aunt and my father).¬†Anything I could not say in their face, I wrote in the pad. The funny things is, my aunt happened to come upon Kurt as she was reorganizing things in my old room.

Imagine my shame when I learned from my sister that my aunt was able to read the entries. I was in college when my aunt browsed through Kurt. Guilt trip. I scolded my ingrate high school self for all the immature rantings I wrote. ¬†That’s what I love about keeping a journal. It makes you realize how you’ve matured – even for a bit. I haven’t really used all the pages my current notebook. Plus I’ve got previously bought notebooks in the wait. But still, I could not help but buy new ones.

For each notebook acquired is that vision of filling the pages with thoughts. All the talking and socializing I should have been doing, it’s all kept in the pages of past journals. Thoughts of my past self never fails to amuse me.

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