maestra demoñita

Nata, nata, centido common nawawara? Maski paggalang, maski modo, Sus! pangarap na sanang magkaigwa.

Kapagkahinapot mo tungkol sa hinidali na trabaho, kasalan, siya wara. Ika an dae makasabot kuno. Ang kasalan, niaon pa saimo.

Nangangalas baya ako sa arog kaining mga engkwentro. Ano bayang nangyari ta halos wara nang mga ugali? Sa saindang panghiling sa nagtuturo, gari baga pahidap sana sainda ang tigibo. Kasuarin pa naging arog kaini an mga tawo? Kan panahon mi, arog kaini – bako.

Sa mga hababang grado, gari sala pa kan nagtao. Como mataray, como istricto. Ano man kinaaraman kaan sa dae pag-adal mo?

Madali bagang sa iba magbasol. Sala pano ni madam, bako pano marhay magturo. Sus! warang magiging marhay magturo, kung kahugakan an kahampang mo.

Dae lamang nataram sako kan mga tiyaon, bilog na buhay nagturo. Ini palan na pagtuturo para sana sa sobrang matibay an boot. Gigibuhon maski bako parte kan sweldo mo ta huna mo makatabang pa lamang sa estudiante mo. Makaluya man minsan ta sa panghiling ninda, ika pa sala. Ika an istricta, daeng buot – an saindang maestra demoñita.


on pedestrians and sidewalks

I may just have been in a foul mood today but it’s something that really irks me – people in a walk-under-the-moonlight pace, side by side blocking the sidewalk.

Like the expressway, perhaps the sidewalk could also have three lanes. That way, the people in a hurry can get to where they need to go without having to deal with inconsiderate pedestrians taking their precious time and the entire width of the sidewalk as they have their leisurely chat.

pastime

I could watch trailers the whole night – as long as I’ve never seen them before. From the movies in the Times best and worst lists, to trailers from entertainment blogs, to Asian movies (even without subtitles), I’d watch them all.

The Front Row application is one of my favorite entertainment applications. It does take a while for the movie to load but the pace is just right if you’ve got tasks to accomplish in between trailers (although it’s supposed to be the other way around).

impressed

Went to get some movies earlier this afternoon. That used to be part of my weekend routine. Get some DVDs, then the groceries, then a movies/series marathon until the next morning.

This afternoon, I was planning on getting just one or two movies. It’s been quite some time since my last visit. The stall had a new staff to assist the customers. I was used to the near-rude treatment of people here so I was quite surprised.

She welcomed me with a bright smile and immediately asked how she could help. She was assisting other customers also but she made it a point everyone’s inquiries were answered. It came not as a surprise that she suggested a few titles I may possible be interested in. I was near ignoring the new staff when she started explaining how this particular title was currently being shown at this particular channel. Another title, she explained, was in this other channel. Quite knowledgeable with their product. It’s not everyday that I get to encounter people like this. Pleasant, patient, and knowledgeable about what they’re selling.

I left the stall purchasing more than I should – two series titles aside from the two movies I originally planned on getting. I just found it weird that it was easier to come upon a pleasant salesperson in a stall by the street than in those airconditioned stores with uniformed staff.

idealism

You taught me to let go of ideals of quality, of conduct becoming, of the possibilities of what you do and what you can be. I learned to settle with reality, of what is, not what should be. You made me realize that I have hoped for a lot, that I forgot, that all those possibilities – you may have wanted not.

There’s not a question in your capability. What I did not consider is your will to go beyond what’s okay, of what is average. I had hoped you’d take the chance to show everyone what you’re capable of. I was prepared to help in any way I can.

I was negative and critical not because I thought of it as something amusing. Did it look like I had fun identifying the things you overlooked or failed to consider? I opted to be negative and critical because that is how people would look at your output and you when presented out of the confines of the educational system.

Did you think you’d have the chance to relay your reasons to everyone who happens to view your output? Did you think you can manage with  pwede na yan outputs. You really think you can survive by relying on your assumptions? And whenever you receive negative comments, just go on blaming the source? or your teachers? or the educational system? the weather? climate change? everyone and everything but yourself?

As I have endlessly repeated, negative comments on performance does not affect how I see you as a person. I witnessed how you started here and what you have become now. I know you did what you thought was right. I just believe you can do way better. Then again, that’s me and my idealistic tendencies.

keeping the routine

Ahhh, weekends. I love these breaks. Slept the whole morning – and afternoon and I managed to jog in the evening.

At last, I managed to get two jog sessions for this week. That’s the first time for March. I just hope I can maintain that. I need to. I’ve been in glutton mode the entire week. Stress eating combined with the I’m-sick-I-can’t-jog excuse. My pants confirm that I’ve been lax with the exercise.

Considering the blueberry cake I so happily consumed with iced coffee. I don’t think the evening’s jog would have any effect on all the things I’ve devoured this week. I’m just happy to get back to the twice-a-week jog routine (Looking heavenward: Please let me keep the routine).

Thursday night was an attempt to jog. I already had my running shoes on but something didn’t feel right. This was the same night I decided I wanted a vanilla sundae from the convenience store a block away from the apartment. Earlier that night, I was enjoying green mangoes and alamang (shrimp paste). Glutton mode, it was.

Earlier this week, I’ve been making regular visits to fast food chains for lunch. Let’s just say I wouldn’t want chicken in my plate for the rest of the month.

Clearly, I needed to get serious about jogging more and steering clear from the fastfood – Krushers and all.  The stress level (hence, the eating) is expected to rise in the next two weeks.

Will keep fruits near. If I do eat when stressed, let it be less processed or unprocessed food.

Will jog/walk (more?).

 

 

to jot, did not, forgot

I found myself writing less frequent and less in my journal. I saw some attempt to start writing but the entries start and end with the date. There are says when I leave sentences unfinished – and I cannot even remember what I was about to write.

For the daily blog, I refer to the journal for possible topics. And as I was completing my entries for this week, I found my journal of no help. Nothing but the date. That was all – except for the text which read “tired”, barely understandable as it was written in a script more like a signature (something that doesn’t need to be understood). I do not believe in the I-was-busy/tired excuse.

A blank entry means I had no thoughts worth writing, I was too lazy to write them down, or I had no moment with the clarity of mind to write. Whichever the reason may be, it is not good.

Regular entries mean that I’m in a relatively better/healthier state of mind. So I guess that means I’m in a relatively bad state now. Perhaps.

Earlier this week, I dreamed about something that caused me to worry. I don’t even remember the reason why I was so troubled in the dream. When I woke up, I was still worried. It took a while before I realized I was making no sense, worrying about some dream I could not even remember. It was all in the dream.

A date without an entry is like a day that never existed. Or perhaps, it was too forgettable. There’s no day as such. I need entries to help me remember what happened. In a month’s time, I would have forgotten. The entries help me remember.