pity party

I am supposed to post a blog a day. I’m supposed to be soda free for a month. I should have wrapped up a report last month. I should be writing (or at least figuring out how to go about) my manuscript  right now. There’s a lot of things I should have completed and there’s more that I should have dealt with.

That’s one way of looking at it. Depressing. The gloomy skies and the occasional roll of thunder perfectly complements this mood. I’m not going spend the last quarter of 2011 wallowing in shoulds and musts. To do that, I just have to write down the disappointment and other self-pity entries so I could move on to doing something more productive – and hopefully develop a more positive outlook in the weeks to come. Good luck with that.

Messing up is much a part of life as on time submissions and completion of outputs. It is disappointing and it does drag one’s motivation. It’s such a heavy load that one carries even during weekends when people are supposedly resting for the next work week. Backlog’s become one’s shadow constantly keeping one company. It dampens those moments when one feels productive. It gives one the feeling of never being good enough or being unworthy. It keeps one in that sullen, cranky, self-piteous state – not really a work-friendly place.

So, what’s one to do?

Watch a movies, series, draw, write on that journal… do whatever it is one did before being stuck in backlog. Take some time to release the negative energy. Write it down, go for a run/walk, watch a movie/series. Do something you want to – and hopefully, one would feel better. Then go back to deal with whatever it is you have to do.

One’s outputs reflect the persons mental state during the time the output was prepared. Forcing things to completion tend to make one defensive about the quality of one’s work –  irritable, sensitive to comments, and the tendency to think less of oneself.

People mess up, underperform, or whatever it is that may be called. Without these, one would not be human. It’s not something to be tolerated all the time but do allow yourself some. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Even machines breakdown at some point. Don’t be surprised that one also experiences that.

Failure is something one will definitely have to deal with. How one deals with it over time is what matters. What matters is that one gets oneself back in his/her productive self and deal with the tasks once more. And more importantly, to never tire of starting again.

Now, start.


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