intrapersonal morning chat

Woke up with a start. It the 23rd already!

Duh?!, the mobile’s screen saver seemed to mock me. They can do that? I checked the laptop’s calendar (as if it would yield to a different result – well, I was hoping it would), and the anxiety level spiked. Such a great way to start the day.

My research proposal outline is due on the 24th. Yep, that’s tomorrow. I have no idea how I’ll manage to deal with that. Still,…  It’s the 23rd already?!!!

This is me and disorientation with dates, and time, and year. There just had to be a moment like this for this month. I thought I’d have more time. Don’t we all? I just thought… – wrong?

I can sense the initial stages of a guilt episode. No, I will not regret not doing anything yesterday. It was and will remain a no-work day. No regrets there. I wish I say (or write) with more conviction though. No regrets for doing nothing.

You should have done some writing at the cafe.

It was supposed to be a break.

Hah! A break. Well, enjoy what your “break” would result to.

Technically, it wasn’t the break but my disorientation that messed things up. So leave that break alone.

Whatever. You could have used that time to do something more fruitful.

Doing nothing was fruitful. (Okay, that sounded stupid. Yeah, it was.) What I meant was I needed that no-work day. That’s what weekends are for. It’s not like I do that every week.

Actually, you do. Every Saturday and most Sundays.

Errr… yes, that is true. Why am I wasting my time doing this? [evasion] How’s this conversation going to help expand my proposal?

Come now, it’s not like you don’t know the answers yourself. It’s because you’re still avoiding working on the proposal. For the second question, it’s not.

True. Might as well start with the readings.

At least you have your post for today😀

I need to finish that proposal and be over this phase.

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