Every time I hit “Publish”, I can’t help but feel proud. Lately, I’ve posting more student articles in the community website. I’m taking that as a good sign. It means more article are worth publishing.
As usual, there’s always that voice from within – perhaps your standards have changed. Lowered, perhaps?
I did consider that. It seems too good to be true to have posted more than five articles in a semester. I asked my colleagues about it and yes, they answered that they have adjusted their standards lowering them to fit the quality of outputs students have these days.
So I went back to reading the articles. They seemed fine to me. The me from the previous four years would have agreed. I’m not sure if the outputs have improved , if it was being more specific about the things to be included in the articles, or having the students write more. I’m not quite sure. The succeeding semesters would determine that, I guess.
Right now, I am happy to see more student bylines. This is what we’ve aimed for. By the time the student graduates, s/he should have established a strong writing portfolio.
It’s also nice to see relatives comment on the articles. Of course, it is biased. Still, it’s nice to have them appreciate the student outputs.
Been feeling quite productive this week. I’ve managed to update class records – finally! I got through it. “It” pertaining to piles of student outputs submitted in haste.
Even if the afternoons are draining, It feels good, looking at stacks of commented and rated exercises. It feels even better to have stacks of drafts with revision notes you have dealt with. It is during such time when you’re enjoy that sense of accomplishment that you remember other deliverables for the month. And you’re stuck with guilt once more.
This is why there’s usually that feeling of unease when one’s in a really good mood – feeling capable and accomplished. It’s never supposed to be that way. Such thing only happens when one has forgotten the succeeding entries in the never-ending to-do list.
Well on the bright side, at least I’m crossing out entries during – if not nearer – to the original deadlines. That’s enough to make me happy.
The plan was to take that jog. The one I’ve been planning since Friday last week. Somehow, I found myself seated at the mother’s dining table with the eldest and the third sisters and the older niece and the nephew enjoying the mother’s beef dish. More reasons to have that jog – soon!
I’ve forgotten about the mother’s text earlier this afternoon about cooking for dinner amidst all the excitement at the office caused by two rodents who share the office space with us. I guess, I planned on not coming for dinner. I did have to go because number one: the mother cooks great beef dishes (plus I’d save a lot for dinner), two: I’d be seeing the eldest sister (we haven’t had lunch in a while), and three: I needed to bring some documents to the third sister. I dawned on me that the mother never fails to dangle the idea of food in her every invite. Am I that simpleminded?!
“Well you did find yourself in her dining table, did you not?” came an answer.
A family dinner on a weekday, how great is that? No sarcasm on this one. This is a rarity for me. I only get to experience this when I visit the hometown. The food in the hometown isn’t as good as the mother’s cooking but the father and the aunts are there. A full family dinner remains a to-do.
No mass attended today. There was no jog session. What I did manage to do was visit the nearest to accompany the mother (,which I thought was more of a sacrifice than listening to the sermon) and to settle the bills.
I did finally mange to visit a school supplies store that left me underwhelmed with old stocks. I couldn’t find this notebook size I wanted. I ended up getting something twice the size of the old notebook. As usual, I purchased things I didn’t plan on getting. The notepad colors were just too cheerful and it just seemed fun to get color pencils to de-stress. It felt nice to be around bound blank pages. I opted to skip the books. I’d definitely feel bad not being able to purchase one.
When I left the store, that’s when I felt the weight of the expenses. I did do something I’ve been thinking about for more than a month now – to get out of Elbi. I just had a lot of excuses before.
Woke up to summer – in February. The temperatures are up. Summer arrived early tis year.
It’s the brittle crispy grass. Still green. It almost breaks under the soles. I’m spending more time with the shadow that has become more distinct. It’s that warm air that greets you in the morning making one wonder if it’s already noon. There’s that worry that the fan’s might overheat because they’d been rested not. It’s that unwillingness to be out of shade.
It was dark when I hauled my laundry to the mothers. A hearty meal. A cold room. Spent some time with the nephew who was unfortunately sick. I was made to realize I’ve forgotten my niece’s birthday. Such a great aunt I am.
The mother’s to leave next week and she was orienting us about the arrangements she made. She paraded her own haul from a day’s shopping. She bought the boyfriend some clothes and accessories and got a few items for herself. It’s nice to see her buying things for herself. I think she used the fitting room this time. Pink was the day’s color. This, I gathered from the items she purchased. A couple of minutes of show and tell about her gifts to the boyfriend and to herself. I like this version of her. When we believe she genuinely likes the boyfriend – not for the support.
With two bags of now clean clothes, I made my way home. The evening’s are cooler but I find myself out of breath with the bags I carried. This is what you get for missing your jog sessions, I thought. Tomorrow, I hope I won’t get this scolding.
The thing I would want to keep forgetting though I know there’s not escaping it – my research proposal.
Sometimes, you’d think the whole world’s scheming to make you deal with that which you keep putting off. This is somewhat egocentric, I admit. At the start of February, I promised to work the proposal and have it ready for submission by this month’s end. Hah! I haven’t even open the .doc file.
Fate taunting, I seem to have more and more accidental encounters with my adviser lately. I’m seeing more of her in the corridors and even in the office comfort room.
More and more people are asking about the status of the proposal. Even the mother is asking when I’ll graduate. Add the aunts – and the sisters – and the colleagues to that list. I’m not even asking for a sign.
Still, I get the message. Messages, rather. Stop worrying about it and start writing it. “Your research is nothing unless it is written,” a former colleague said.
Seven AM. No need for the alarm clock. I am up automatically at 7am. Even if I do set the alarm earlier, I’ll just set it off and go back to bed. It’s not as early as I would want to wake up but at least it’s relatively earlier than the previous month’s time. My aim is to automatically be up at 5am so I could listen to the radio show I keep missing.
We had an emergency meeting, which delighted my students since it was scheduled during our class hours. Their delight immediately faded when they realized I had prepared an exercise for the day’s session.
Devcom studies. Another thing I’d like to do if I had time to just read. I realized I haven’t really read all the local publications about what I’ve been studying for the past six years. It’s embarrassing. I’ve read chapters of books. But never the entire publication. It would be nice to have a course to focus on devcom literature discussed per author and school of thought. One of these days (I honestly don’t know when that would be), I’d compile a reading list (hopefully, this would be a list of the books I’ve already read) of local authors about development communication. This is just me avoiding the manuscript that I should be working on. I keep seeing my adviser 😀