now brewing

So I got a coffee maker for the apartment with the justification that it would help keep me awake during during the late-night-to-early-morning sessions for the research proposal. As if time wasn’t enough of a pressure, I just added greater push to justify this purchase.

If I have a coffee maker, I’ll need ground coffee and that’s not exactly part of the month’s grocery list. So I overspent. I’ll live in poverty for the next weeks. Darn those late-night-to-early-morning thesis writing sessions. That coffee maker should better be worth it.

Here’s to caffeinated evenings (and one less excuse not to have that moment for thesis writing.)

Hopefully, this is the last purchase to set the mood for completing that research proposal.


just write

As long as it’s not written, it doesn’t exist.

This statement’s been on a loop the entire week. I hear it in whispers sometimes like in a round song. It stops when I face the reference book. I was hoping it would motivate me to work on the proposal. Still, I’m reading and encoding notes. At least I’m working on it. It’s not enough.

I need to submit the thing on Monday so I can schedule my examination -so I can get the approval for data gathering -so I can gather data -so I can encode the data -and analyze it -so I can write my research manuscript -so I can graduate.

For tonight, I just need to translate all these notes and thoughts into pages of the proposal. With this much caffeine boost (and the available reserve), I wouldn’t be able to sleep -even if I wanted to. That’s the idea. 

We’ll see how it goes. Although caffeine is strong, my laziness and procrastinatory tendencies can be quite powerful.

dreaming of weekends

It’s a gloomy Friday afternoon. Everyone’s looking forward to going home to take that long sleep to the weekends. The smell of coffee brew’s comforting, coffee courtesy of the office mates. The caffeine intake’s double the usual – yet we’re still sleepy.

This weather combined with my evening-romance-letter-reader-voice lulled several students to sleep during the 2pm lecture. I couldn’t blame them. Even I was a bit sleepy.

Right now with the ACU humming, the lids are getting heavier, the processing more slow. I should just go home and take that sleep. These past days, I only needed to lie down and I’m dead to the world. I don’t even need to make the bed in the morning. I’m a log. Unmoving. Uncaring. Dead.

Until the next alarm setting.

But tomorrow, there will be no alarm. When I wake up, it’ll be afternoon. I will feel rested. It will feel great. And my apartment wall will be clear.

“any time”

“They’d be there any time,” said the woman on the line. She manages the printing press operations. She’s basically asking me to be on standby. The delivery will be arriving earlier than scheduled.

Any time turned out to be a long while. I, being the impatient me, was getting more and more anxious. I have waited more than three years for this. The last few hours of waiting for the truck to arrive seemed the longest.

That thing I’ve been waiting for

I just want to touch the actual publication. It’d be my first “academic” work. It’s the first research I’ve seriously been part of. Meaning, I get to see my name on the cover of this one. And I really want it over with.

All I have to do is to turnover the copies to the College. And then it’ll be off my back.

Just a few more minutes. Just a few more hours.


settling in

How I miss summer.

Summer meant having more peace around. The hallways are clear, my left side silent, and my personal space expanding. Suddenly it’s June and everything’s cramped, students constantly passing through the hallways; there’s a lot of movement. I don’t even need to see the students to know they’re there. The sound of their chatter is enough to disrupt whatever train of thought you were holding on to.

I still don’t know which setting I prefer – the peaceful or the lively one. Depends on the situation, I guess. When you’re trying to get something done, you’d want peace. Sometimes, empty hallways can look dreary. It’s nice to see life in there. Not much noise, I hope.

From the office, you’ll know it’s the end of classes when you hear students’ chatter as they made they way to their next classes. The getting up or down the stairs would require some waiting time. Late in the afternoon, sounds of laughter, the now-normal-loud conversations, shrieks, and jeers pass through the closed glass windows.

There are morning classes to attend to. It just takes more time to adjust to sleeping early and waking up recharged for the day’s classes.

Come July and August, things will be part of the routine.

la… lala… lala…

It’s only now that I get to enjoy the de-cluttering of of the home and work spaces.

The spaces are more relaxing. Hopefully, they’d inspire me to go back to dealing with my proposal. I’ve have no more excuse for delaying the writing I should be doing (yeah, instead of this entry). Right now, I’m soaking everything in.

I’m loving this soaking  phase. I could be stuck here.