For some time, one consciously stops oneself from letting the thoughts wander to way back. And somehow, it takes less and less effort to prevent the playback of those clips one unconsciously collected. What now requires more effort is eliciting reactions from things one strongly associated with the subject one used to avoid.
Where once was giddiness, then came pain, now seems blank – empty. One asks oneself if it’s a good thing. For a while one thought it was being numb. Perhaps it was. Now, it’s just what it was. A part of the past. Lived. Experienced. Past. Was.