It’s as if one stopped occupying space. One remains perceived only by the self. One’s existence contained in one’s mind. One goes through the day’s routine as one would in normalcy only to be reminded so suddenly sometime through the day of what one has become.
In one’s world, one exists. One recognizes that one’s world isn’t always the same as the worlds of the rest. These worlds are shared, overlapping in time. Time is shared and also the scenes. But to be perceived and to perceive remain in one’s mind.
To be not perceived make one question if one’s perception of the self is a pretense or a lie. A lie of one to oneself or the lie of the other ones to their own selves. A lie or not? Oneself or other ones? Perhaps why is what matters.
And so in thelimbo of unsureness, all the ones remain.
The trip didn’t allow much sleep. Still, I’m glad I’m home. I’ll just have to endure another trip back to Los Baños in a week’s time.
Had a chat with the father. More response this time. I’m not sure if it’s him or me (or both of us) that has gotten more chatty. That’s a good start.
I’m going home 😀
This has been the longest time I’ve been away. I wasn’t able to take a break before the semester started last June and I didn’t have the chance to go home for the town fiesta last August. I cannot miss the November “break”. I have a week to be free from work the office.
It’s one looooong bus ride to the southern part of Luzon. I’ll have about 12 hours’ worth of emo time 🙂
Was buying new pens at the local supplies shop when I saw this blank set of 5 x 7-inch flash cards.
I hated the idea of flash cards. I associated it with simple multiplication and division problems. Parents and teachers hold them out for you to hone your skills. Easy for them, they could see the answer from the back. Of course they’d know the answer. For me as an elementary student, it was a source of anxiety. One had to do good or you’ll see the disappointment appear from what used to display eagerness.
By now, you’d figured I did not buy these cards to reminisce on math problems. I thought it’d be nice to try some sketches on it. I wouldn’t have to carry the thick notebook all the time. Also, it would be easier to collect or lay these cards out with the uniform size.
Gel pens smear on the surface. I needed to use finer tipped pens. Manageable.Honestly, I just needed something to take the mind off the panic of data gathering 😀