a break I don’t really need [or deserve]

Break. The word’s been overused. By me.

I’m now suffering the consequences of doing nothing (well, almost) work-related during the Christmas vacation. Everyday, I’m reminded of the deadlines. Good thing I already have a planner for the year. January’s looking a bit loaded. All of them need to be completed this month. The optimism expected at the start of the year is very helpful in keeping me sane – or delusional.

For some reason, I managed to convince myself to take a break. In the middle of all the deadlines. I thought I should have a break. Unbelievable.(It wasn’t a guilt-free break.) I just thought I should hit pause  on all the deliverables and have a movie break. We’re not talking about a ten-minute coffee break. It’s watching an  entire movie, which runs for about two hours.

It turned out to be a great decision. The sinking feeling is gone (as is the slight panic) and my guilt-meter has increased to a value that’d be enough to get me through the end of the month’s deliverables.

I guess one doesn’t always have to believe that they deserve what they give or allow themselves to. (Where did I even get the idea?Whatever works.



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