toxic no more

2015-10-30 20.33.11

I should be back in my hometown at this time of the year. My finances didn’t allow me the luxury of a trip back home. Any savings I have will be used for my check up and re-stocking of medication this November, four months after the operation.

Then again, my name could have been in one of the marble sheets at the family plot in the public cemetery.

In a way, I’m relieved to miss this year’s visit to the cemetery. Things just got too close for comfort.

Spending a month at the hospital being referred to as a toxic patient and another month worrying about the possibility of having a brain surgery to remove a mass in my brain (and the hospital bills!) – all these before undergoing an open heart operation for a mitral valve replacement (with relatively high risk thanks to the mild stroke that caused the swelling in my brain, which the doctors said can then cause bleeding during the operation then lead to paralysis in my body –or to cause enough complications that may lead to death).

So I guess what I’m saying is that I’m relieved – and for the nth time thankful – to be still here with new heart valve, a greater appreciation for my family, and a more positive view of the world.


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