thoughts in text

So whenever I find myself with nothing to write on in one of those “writing moments” – this refers to that few seconds when a thought, usually in the form of a line or two, is formed in my mind. Then I start looking for a piece of paper to write it in. When I am bereft of paper, I just patiently key in the thoughts in my mobile phone – “text” it.

“Text” in the Philippines has become a verb meaning to key in short messages in your mobile phone. [Even when mocked and even if it is relatively more costly, I try to be grammatically sound when composing my text messages. It keeps my written English from dulling. I could rant on and share horror stories of students submitting papers with “u” instead of “you”.]

Going back to the topic, here are some of those text messages kept in my drafts folder.

Noise is everywhere
yet I find myself alone in a bubble of silence
– story of my life.

T here is the constant need for one
to confirm one’s existence.
There is also the constant struggle
to prove one’s life as better.
The first I can tolerate,
as for the second – I see that as self imposed torture.

boredom

Here’s a sample of what boredom can result to.
I wrote this at the back of the handouts of a lecture I recently attended.

Time is torture
Sound is pain
Waiting is dying
Silently cursing in vain.

Shame
Ah, ever a companion

Deep breathes
Abyss in my chest
Rock lodged in my throat
Hammer pounding in my head.

The world swirling
Endlessly falling
Feeling unfeeling
Continuously draining.

If I were to apply the principles of clear and effective writing,
I could have just written
“I’m bored.

anonymity

There is the constant urge to express oneself freely through words; to write thoughts one would not dare voice; and to share things that you doubt your friends will be interested in.

Expression with promised anonymity. An opportunity to be at your mushiest without suffering from sarcastic comments from people you know. More opportunities to meet people that are just as mushy as you and realizing that that there are more people than you think that give in to their own “mushy moments”.

I do realize I am overusing the word “mushy”. Anonymity as writer allows one to live in two worlds and  be the person he/she really is.

What one can find amusing is that no matter how frequent we claim to want to remain anonymous, there is still that glint of hope that maybe, just maybe, there will be someone who will find out who one really is. So is the decision to be anonymous then a result of wanting to be discovered?

And then there is the fulfillment of seeing people you do not know reacting to what one has written – be it positive or negative. [This is supposedly the part where I encourage you to leave a comment 🙂 ]

I am a college instructor and the pressure of writing grammatically sound pieces is upon me. It would be such a disgrace if my students [ and what more if my superiors] were to read my entries and then spotted an error or inconsistency in style. The fear of committing errors kept me from posting as much as I would like to. And then I realized, how else would I learn if not from the corrections and comments that I would be receiving?

Opting not to write for the fear of committing errors is opting not to learn. With a new home for my thoughts, I do hope enjoy the freedom of writing and be able to enjoy the writing more than the worrying part.

scribble.scrabble.scrawl. is open to everyone who wants to share random thoughts.
Feel free to comment.
Every word will be greatly appreciated.